DO Elections

So we held Delta Omicron officer elections last night. I was running against Kristin for Director of Publicity and she was voted into the position. She turned it down, however, because she really wanted historian (another position she was running for). So they had to revote to see if they wanted me to be the position. Being the only person running, I was still turned down for the position. And that really, really hurt. I have no idea why a group love so much hates me or thinks I would do a really bad job at this position, but it really really hurts. I really thought I'd be a great addition to board, and I had so many ideas to bring the group closer, but I got completely shot down. I really wish I had been there for the discussion. Anything they would've said bad about me, I would've tried to explain to them. I honestly didn't realize I was that bad of a person that running by myself I still wouldn't get a position.

I have gotten turned down for almost everything in my entire life. Just in college, I have gotten turned out of Chorale, Symphony Band, being a Soul, an RA, Scholar Leaders, an honors student, and now this. I honestly have no idea what my flaws are that would keep me out of absolutely everything. I know I'm hard on myself, but I really don't think I'm that bad of a person. And I wish someone would tell me what I'm doing wrong. I really want to fix myself to where people like me. I really really do. Because I like people so much. Especially since I love everyone in DO more than I love a lot of people. And no one understands how much DO was the reason I came back to school even though I had no money.

The worst part was I was running against nobody. If I had been running against another, better person in DO, I would've completely understood. But I was running uncontested and I still lost. That shows how much the organization really doesn't like me or think I could contribute. When have I EVER not pulled my weight at anything? I always give everything my absolute all, and I would've done even more with this position. It's all I've wanted since school started. I took two hours to write my letter of intent so that I could sound perfect for the position. I have so much time next semester for it, since I won't be taking lessons, and yet they still think I'm bad for the job.

I know no one reads this, but if you happen to find this, please tell me what makes me such a bad person, so that I can really fix this problem. Because it really hurts.